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We were stuck in the traffic, after few moments she too noticed me and waved towards me. I was in dilemma, not sure how to react as my elder brother was with me driving the car.As the traffic was taking more then usual to clear, he went out of car to purchase a cigarette packet from the roadside vendor allowing me sometime alone. I waved her back and she asked me who is with me and why I was not coming for exams. I told her it’s my bro and she understood I won’t be able to talk, so wrote her number on a paper and threw it in the car and asked me to text her after 1 am.I texted her after 3 days as my phone was on repair because of the accident. She started shouting on me because of my carelessness and our conversations went on there on. After exams I went to bangalore and we lost contact for 5 months and when I came back I enquired about her with my classmates and finally found her on facebook. I texted her and apologized her for not contacting and explained her about everything and. Now, I feel like I woke up in the exact opposite state as I was last night. Sure I felt a bit hung over, but more so I just felt so anxious. My muscles were tense, thoughts were rushing in and out of my head. Mainly, I was disgusted by what I let happen yesterday. I slowly got out of bed and faced the day. I showered off, trying to almost wash the filth that happened yesterday away. I felt anxious and tense even in the bathroom. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched. I had never felt like this in my home before. The very last thing that I wanted to do today was show any skin. I put on one of my husband’s college t-shirts, as well as some sweat pants. I put on a proper robe. Oh god I really should have that other robe fucking shredded. I looked at myself in the mirror. I almost broke down crying. How the hell was I going to face my son today? How do we go back to being mom and son? I would give anything just to erase what happened yesterday. Then another thought hit.
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