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I wanted sex. My entire body yearned for it, for her. I was still achingly erect. But more than that, I wanted to be with her. If Violet was only offering herself for long as we were in this house, I didn’t think I could stand it. And I didn’t know if she was ready for anything more, or even if that would be the best thing for her.The abuse we had experienced in childhood had made both of us magicians of denial. Distraction and avoiding the big picture were our common stock in trade. They had been vital skills in helping us survive as children, but disastrous for our adult selves.My solution had been to overcompensate, to focus with single-minded intensity on whatever was before me, sinking my teeth into every challenge like a terrier and shaking it to death. Violet’s was to escape into acting, to have expectations of no-one and nothing.As a combination, it was explosive. A recipe for doom. Yet I couldn’t give her up. And I couldn’t stop wanting her.I desired to be the best thing. Lekin apke nasib me jo ho wo apko milta hi hai. Ek din office se saam ke 7.30 baje main nikla bahot tej barish shuru ho gayi main puri tarah se bhig gaya office ke thodi duri per mod per Krishna khadi thi sayad auto ya bus ka intijaar kar rahi thi. Main uske paas gaya aur use puchha “kya hua auto nahi mil rahi?” To boli “dekho na aaj barish bhi tej hai aur auto bhi nahi mil raha.” Maine use kaha “problem na ho to chalo main tumhe chhod deta hun.” Wo mere bike per pichhe bahith gayi. Khade ate to main break marta to uske boobs meri pith per chhu jate mera lund thande pani aur garam boobs se tight ho gaya tha. Uska haath meri chhati per tha uske boobs meri pith per main swarg ka anand lete hue drive kar raha tha. 30 min ke baad maine bike uske ghar ke samne roki wo utar kar muje ander ane ko kaha maine kaha “barish bahot hai aaj nahi phir kabhi.”To wo boli “barish kam ho jaye tab chale jana tab tak chai ya coffee pilo.” Maine uski baat maan li aur uske saath chala gaya uke kapde bhig.
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