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‘It’s our replace. Go, go! Matt will kill us for using it, but our blasted editor will kill me if I publish crap. I’ve decided to postpone my execution!’ ‘Bugger me,’ said Mayor Rowlands, looking at the big photograph on the front page. ‘My photo was removed but they have replaced it with this awful one of Curtis. Bloody awful of him, isn’t it? It will cost him the election, although I have it won already.’ The executives gathered around him obediently nodded in unison. At that stage none had read the caption, written by the news editor who once worked on a London tabloid newspaper where everything was written with a twist. Ten minutes later Isobel from the hotel reception counter delivered Matt his copy of The Bugle. ‘Bloody hell,’ he thundered. ‘I’ll personally castrate that bloody photographer and tar and feather the frigging editor.’ ‘It isn’t a great photo of you Matt,’ said Isobel nervously. ‘But I suggest you take a look at the caption first before completely getting off. I had gone back down into the hotels shops to buy sunscreen, and bikinis, beach roll up matting beds and towels. I came back into the room and both guys were on the balcony drinking beer, as I tossed my shopping onto the bed. ‘What’s the plan for today’, I asked, my eyes drawn to his friends six pack, ‘My god’, I thought, ‘he’s hung like a fucking stallion’, it was so in my face, I had to laugh out loud, surely that pose he had adopted was meant for me to see? Both guys were cool, I guess they got the response they had hoped for. ‘Listen you guys, I’m not here to provide sex for you’, I said pointing to his friend, ‘and you’, I said, shifting my point to my husband, ‘I don’t know what you two have conspired, but I am not fucking with him’. Deep down, I really did not believe it myself, especially with a poorly hidden six pack like that, I could feel myself wetting in nervous anticipation. We had gone to the hotel disco that night, where both men imbibed me with enough alcohol to.
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