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I know this is a subject that's hard to broach with a new husband, but it doesn't matter what the two of us want if we can't respect your life partner enough to let him in on the decision." You also know," I continued, "that if he doesn't consent, we can't do it." Why not?" Tara cried, "Why can't I decide for myself?! Why do I need his permission? I'm an adult, not a child!" Precisely because you're an adult, honey." I responded calmly, "And I said, 'consent' not 'permission'. The connotation is a little different. You need to respect your husband's wishes if you want him to respect yours. It's a give and take, Tara. Nobody counts, consciously, but in the back of our minds is a silent little bookkeeper who tallies up the things others do to and for us. Big things count more than little things, and this is a big thing. Anytime you get sexually or emotionally involved with another human, there is a tremendous potential for it to change your relationships with others around you. Those. I learnt to preserve myself. I learnt to control myself.I understood one thing it was is my best interest to be in control rather than give it to others.I had decided If i had to do i would decide with whom and where and how.While I shrouded myself with the calmness of peace and simplicity at my heart lay raging emotions of sexual fantasy just as the serene pacific ocean appears peaceful yet shrouds violent volcanoes underneath itself.My mind went back to days when during my first abroad trip,after I got my job.It was the first time I had let my veil down and been my real self.Some of the best moments in my life and certainly for few others were made then.But even then there were rules.Then my mind came back to the present and things that had happened.For the second time ,I had lost control of the situation and allowed someone to take advantage.It angered me yet somewhere gave a sense of excitement.That evening whenever I saw Manoj,I could sense from his eyes ,more was to come.It.
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