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When he got home Early wrestled with his conscience. Part of what appealed to him about the organization was the kids. Early loved kids and was slowly coming to the conclusion that he might never have any. It was just another reason that he hadn't been able to let go of his anger with Susan. Because of her, he knew what real love was and as much as he'd tried, he hadn't been able to love anyone else. He thought frequently about what his private investigator Bill Miller had told him that night about trust and marriage. He had just assumed that when he got rid of Susan that trusting someone else would be natural. It wasn't.As a fit and wealthy single man, finding dates hadn't been a problem. With the help of friends he was overrun with women looking to fill the hole Susan had left in his heart. Several of those had ended up in his bed. Two had even become serious monogamous relationships. The problem was that even after a month or two he still wanted to use a condom. He simply couldn't. I sure wasn’t.”“Completely rational?” Elyse asked.Kara nodded, “Yes. When I talked to her, she was calm and rational. She’s conflicted, but not confused.”“So what do you think she’ll do?” Jessica asked.Kara was quiet for a moment, then said, “If I had to guess, she’ll be celibate for a long time. Maybe even forever.”Katy came into the kitchen where we had been talking and drinking coffee.“I have everything in my car,” she said.“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?” I asked a final time.She nodded, “I need a change. I probably should have done this when I left Kenneth. If I need them, my family and some old friends are in Boston. It’s not that far away.”“Where will you stay?” Jessica asked.“I found a room for rent in Londonderry by calling a few realtors yesterday afternoon. It’s a small town in the southern part of the state. I’ll stay there until I find the property I want to buy.”“What about work?” Elyse asked.“Not right away. I need some time to relax and get my head on.
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