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“Do you really believe that?”The corners of Rho’s red lips curled up. “I may not know the day-to-day workings of this manor, but it has been occupied by Sex Magi for almost two hundred years. Everyone who lives and works here understands that sexual promiscuity is much greater here than in the raunchiest strip clubs.”It didn’t take much effort to picture Ms. Kulick standing in the doorway to the shower, watching me lather up, while she stripped. I liked the idea, but I didn’t hold any real expectation that it would happen. Sure, she had a thrill looking, but looking and doing were two very different things. Yet, this wasn’t about what I thought or wanted. I looked at Rho. “Just how real is the possibility that she expects or even hopes to have sex with me?”“Are you saying you don’t want to have sex with her?”That was a good question. Did I want to have sex with Ms. Kulick? If my body’s reaction was an answer, then it was a massive YES. I tried to think about it logically. I hadn’t. .. demeaning at first. I couldn't helpit, I kept reminding myself that I'm a man, not a woman. I toldher that, and she was appalled! So one afternoon she got serious.She sat me down and had a long talk with me about it, and afterwardit all got a lot easier. I'm not sure what she said, but I beganto like it, becoming a woman. She just talked, and it got to be alittle boring. But also relaxing -- I even dozed off for a while.And afterward, strange dreams!" Did you? Dreams about men? About women?" Both, I think. When the first session ended she gave me a mantrato chant whenever I wanted to feel more like a girl. So I could'live in my femininity' the way I live in my skin, that's how sheput it. Last week I was repeating that mantra almost non-stop toget ready for this ... birthday of yours. All day. It did help.At least it relieved my anxiety, and I stopped feelingself-conscious about all the girly stuff I'd been practicing, andI began to enjoy it, and began flowing. That's.
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