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Lex visited me every day — he had no problem with my scars. I did not ask him how he could stand the sight of me when I could barely look at myself in the mirror, and especially since Vicdaen did not visit me. I think he could look at me because he knew that I was still the same. And I was still the same, just a bit sadder than before."Has he come to see you yet?" he asked carefully one day.I shook my head. I tried to smile at him, but the left part of my face could not do that motion any longer, making all of my smiles crooked. "No." I talked to him yesterday... He still intends to marry you."I cracked. "Only because he promised me. He doesn't want to." How can you be so sure of that?"I sighed. "Look at me, Lex. You wouldn't marry a girl that looked like this." 'You wouldn't touch her either', I thought regretfully.He couldn't answer that. He just looked away, and the silence fell between us. It went on for minutes, until he spoke: "I cannot refrain myself from thinking about what. We had a roof over our head and nothing else. So Mom and I hit the pavement job hunting. Mom was a capable lady, but with no particular job skills or experience, about the best she could hope for was waitressing. Since Dad's timing had managed to get me before college and before I had cut any music demos, I wasn't much better off myself. No one here had heard me sing. I was getting close to the bottom. I was starting to think about those things I had mentioned in my note, things I'm not proud of. I might have one-in-a-million vocal cords but my fairly nice, but in no way extraordinary, boobs had a better cash value. I had picked up a fair number of job offers for nude modeling, topless dancing and the like. The money was good, but I wasn't quite desperate enough to take that step yet. But I knew it might come to that eventually. It always does for a pretty girl if she's desperate for money. That's why I warned Darryl in my note that I might end up forced to do things I was ashamed.
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