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_____ Knows just enough to be dangerous._____ Only has half a brain and is dangerous._____ His coffee cup has a higher IQACCURACY: _____ Does excellent work if not preoccupied with sex._____ Pretty good, only occasionally blows it out his ass._____ Has to take off shoes to count higher than ten._____ Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice.ATTITUDE:_____ Extremely cooperative (if you kiss his ass frequently)._____ Brown noser in good standing._____ Often pisses off co-workers, thinks it's his department._____ Doesn't give a shit, never did and never will.RELIABILITY:_____ A really dependable little ass kisser._____ Can rely on him at evaluation time._____ Can rely on him to be the first one out the door._____ Totally worthless.APPEARANCE:_____ Extremely neat; even combs his pubic hair._____ Looks great at evaluation time._____ Dirty son of a bitch._____ Flies leave fresh dog shit to follow him.PERFORMANCE:_____ Works like a son of a bitch, if there's money in for. I don't think they've ever totally accepted my gayness since my sister still addresses my Christmas card to "Pervert" Gravel. Where are my manners? I'm Emma GraveI. I own a revival movie house in San Francisco. I try to play themed movies during the holidays. Christmas and Halloween are easy. As is Groundhog Day. But Easter is tough. Religious movies are not my forte. The only line I even know from an Easter movie is, "Jesus, I am your Father," delivered from on high by James Earl Jones. I was going out of town, so I delegated film selection to my two fellow movie buffs, Vanessa and Shannon. I'm sure, between them, they will find the only Easter slasher movie ever made.My date and current lover is Katrina Waves, a super friendly, blond, leggy nurse who was very excited to meet my family. I've tried to warn her, telling her they are the inspiration for the infamous Manson family, although the Manson clan had better table manners. One problem I anticipate is the meal itself. Hogs.
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