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Paying me compliments that broke my heart he would punch me in the ribs playfully and say things like:“I like being with you Robbie. It’s not like being with a girl at all. I can really be myself when I’m with you.”It was all I could do not to cry.Of course it was too much to hope that such a boy would remain without girlfriends throughout his schooldays and over the years I spent many evenings sulking in my room as he took one or other of my contemporaries out on a date. I had to run from at least two school parties when I saw him kissing another girl in the corner of the room or worse, outside in the darkness.Tomboy Robbie couldn’t be seen in tears, could she?When we were eighteen and I heard rumours that he had actually bedded Sally, one of the prettiest, sportiest girls in our year, my despair was almost absolute.Strangely, two weeks later, there was an incident in the showers after a hockey match in which bleach somehow managed to get into Sally’s shampoo. Either that or she. ’ ‘That’s too bad. But still, if he was expecting you to be with him tonight, won’t he be upset that you’re gone.’ ‘A little, I guess. Tommy and Alan kind of have a thing for me. They’ve both asked me to be their steady girl but neither of them interests me like that. I mean, we’re good friends and we kiss and I let them play with my tits and stuff but that’s it. He’ll probably just join in with Ben on Laura. She enjoys being double-teamed.’ ‘Wow.’ I really had no idea what else to say. ‘So, your wife doesn’t like to make the trip up here.’ My head drooped involuntarily. It still did that even two years later, and I couldn’t seem to stop myself from doing it. ‘Gwen died two years ago. She actually used to love coming up here.’ ‘God, Henry, I’m so sorry. She was so young.’ ‘She was just 33, cancer. But I’m starting to handle it better. I don’t burst into tears every time I think of her anymore.’ I flashed a wry smile to let her know I was doing okay and making a little joke.
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