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Missy told Lindsey, in no uncertain terms, to stay away from her if she valued her skin, and Lindsey (wisely) took that advice to heart. We talked a little at school, and eventually we called each other occasionally at night, but only as friends.I was still going out with Micki. She was just too much of a mess for me to do anything but support her in any way I could, and I did come to love her. She may have started out in high school as a bit of a bad girl, but that was just a towering insecurity that was driving her behavior.Missy dated a few guys that winter, and even got laid a time or two - she never did tell me with whom, or how often. We ended up at the same post-Snowflake Dance party, me with Micki and Melissa with Jared, who was a college freshman at the time. It created a few uncomfortable moments, but we kind of stayed out of each other's way. Missy, like the previous year, had to be home by 2:00 AM, but Micki and I had a room for the night. We only stayed at the party in. I was in pain, but most of that pain was from fear and heartache. In all honesty El Jefe was relatively gentle. He used lubricant. He was firm and demanding but not rough and physical. He never raised a hand against me but I was completely unwilling. Knowing that it would play well with my captor, I had moaned like a willing whore. My IUD at least gave piece of mind against pregnancy. As I settled down to sleep one of El Jefe’s men stood guard by the door. What was really tormenting my soul however was the thought of Consuelo doing God knows what with my husband. I was less afraid of El jefe than I was of Consuelo. The next morning I had to suck off El Jefe’s morning wood. Obviously I had to swallow. Later, one of his men cooked breakfast but I had to eat from a bowl on the floor while on all fours. I felt beyond humiliated as I ate with my mouth in the bowl, like a dog. I had been ordered to eat that way and I knew better than to disobey. I could feel the eyeballs of El Jefe’s men.
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