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My room was large, and I had been its sole occupant for the last four years. My husband passed away much too soon, and I missed him terribly, but what I was starting to miss most of all was the company. I had long ago come to terms with his death, but never quite with the emptiness in my heart, my life, my home, even my bed. About a year and a half after his passing, Rachel suggested I might start dating – with her permission, of course. That's a difficult thing to do, no matter how you slice it. Sadness, regret, shame, even embarrassment. I felt it all, at the very thought of dating, of actively seeking out someone else, after having devoted myself exclusively to one person for so many years. My one true love was gone, the man with whom I thought I would grow old. But, more and more, I grew unhappy in being without a close friend, a companion, someone I could lean on and hold. I was tired of being alone. I never told Rachel, but a short time after her suggestion, and while she was. The only love Karen received was from me and her nanny. She would cuddle up next to me or on my lap if she could. Joan just looked away.When Joan made partner in her law firm she earned twice as much as me. She told me I needed to start pulling my weight. I just walked out the door, didn’t even pack. I finally stopped a thousand mile later.I found work with a company that sold and service computer systems. Consulting with a lawyer I learned that even though she earned more than me divorce would probable destroy me financially. Getting custody of Karen would be a hard fight that I would most surely lose.I always sent cards and gifts for holidays but was blocked from direct communication. After four years my cards were returned, “Moved no forwarding address”.Well, life goes on so I moved on with my own, building a new future. Eventually I bought the company expanding it to cover multiple states. The company became my life. After fifteen years I was burned out.I made a good profit when.
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