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How could the world go on as usual? Why didn't others suffer as she did? It really surprised her that people went on with their lives, with their everyday habits when she felt like the universe had turned upside down.What hurt even more was that she actually wanted him to stop her. She wanted him to tell her that it wasn't just one day of sex. If he told her that he felt something for her, that he felt something besides that sexual desire she would stay.But he didn't say a word. He didn't even get out of bed. It was as if she meant nothing to him. As if she was just a fuck.The bus stopped and she got out almost running. She needed to escape from the crowd, she needed some isolation.The apartment was empty and silent. After two days with James, Angela found the silence deafening. In his place there was always the TV on or James playing music and she liked the noise. Her apartment reminded her that she was alone in this life.The phone rang and she growled. She had no desire to talk to. It was almost too late for school, though.But I met Dan. He started me off with principles that teachers might have discussed, but I didn't remember, and he took me through about two years of school in two weeks because he KNEW and all of a sudden I wanted to learn. Because one of the things I learned is that he thought 'smart' was cool. And I wanted to be 'cool' to a guy like that.They're rare, you know. I looked around. At school, it seemed like everybody, at least the guys, are putting on acts. Even the smart guys. They get this idea that being smart is acceptable if they put on some sort of show about being all 'street'. And I simply did NOT give in to the 'he's a football player. Ooooo, he's so FINE!". And there were the 'playas' and several other subgroups, not one of whom made my bell so much as move, much less ring.And then there's Dan. Dan, who wouldn't commit to tutoring me until he'd talked with Grandma. Dan, who told Grandma that she could come knock on the door any time.
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