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"Then everyone will see my piercedears!"She smiled at me, but I don't think she understood the ramifications ofbeing different in high school. I didn't want to get beaten up overthis."It'll be okay, Megan." she said, giving me a comforting hug. "They'llbe more forgiving than you think, and you'll really enjoy life away fromschool with these changes."I knew she was right, about enjoying the changes at least, but I stilldidn't share her optimism about how the other kids would treat me. I'dseen what some of them could do.I didn't think I was going to be able to talk my mom out of thisdecision though. In the end we found a style we liked that was verypretty, and feminine. My anxiety increased when I realized that aponytail would still show the soft curls and waves that the stylepromised to give me. But it was too late. The stylist led me back and started washing myhair. It would only be a matter of time until I doomed Brett to amiserable school existence!After the washing, she led me to. . unable to do anything with that box. I thought I had gotten rid of all that type of stuff. Now, looking through it all, my pains were brought back to life and stabbing me in the face.Finally I moved... setting the box back down on some other boxes stacked everywhere. Sitting down on one, I began to purposely go through that box... digging into my recent past. A small book of pictures fell out to one side, and I picked it up. There we were... at the beach... in the park... in the back yard having a barbecue with the kids. Memories cascading past me, not letting me loose. I soon found myself crying.I cried for what I had lost in Becky's passing. I cried for losing Samantha, and I cried for losing my kids respect. I think I was crying for not only my loss, but what I had so stupidly shoved away too. I couldn't see any way back to those happier days... and now... seeing those days in front of me just was too much to handle.I didn't hear them come up from behind me. I felt like a foolish.
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