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What’s the state flower of West Virginia?A satellite dish.A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps.“Son, is your mother home?” The little boy nods yes.“Can I see her please?” The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep.“Son, do you see what your mother is doing?” The boy nods yes.“Do you know what that is?” The boy nods.“Doesn’t that bother you?”“Naaaaaaaaaaaah!”How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?If she can run faster that her brothers.Everybody from the North thinks everybody from the South is just sitting around, barefoot, wearing overalls, eating grits, watching ‘Hee Haw,’ listening to country music, drinking Jack Daniel’s, going to tractor pulls, wearing trucker caps, dipping Skoal, picking cotton, riding around in pickup trucks, having sex with our relatives, and looking for UFOs. And that’s not true --. I smile at you with that smile of loving understanding and I see you return it.You stop and lay down next to me with your head on my chest and I slowly put an arm up around your shoulder.I feel you wiggle and snuggle in closer and then your hand is on my chest with your elbow on my belly. I close my eyes and try to nap, ya right like I can sleep. You have closed your eyes and actually drift off as you feel safe and contented.I cannot sleep but close my eyes none the less and try. You must have dozed off because several time you moved and actually moved a leg over my leg and half laid on me with one breast crushed into my chest your head on my shoulder and your nose just under my chin. I can feel your warm breath on the base of my neck.I could stay like this for ever I think and then realize the sun is burning us good. I move and wake you.“Hey wake up we are going to burn for sure.” “Oh my I feel asleep, how long was I out?”“Oh about half hour or so but long enough to get real.
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