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"Hey! Wasn't that drawer padlocked?"She held up a bent paper clip, grinned mischievously and asked: "What would McGuyver do?" She then offered the toy to me, instructing me to put it on. (I really had no choice, being the perfect hostess) It has been a while, so I read the owner's manual for helpful hints, then after hooking up a series of levers and pulleys I was ready to go as I eased myself on top of her, using the toy as a divining rod to search for her wetness. "Let me turn over," she told me before flipping onto her hands and knees, fully exposed and looking very philosophical.Caressing each butt cheek, I said, "As you wish, Buttercup." While bringing the rubber tip to her wrinkled, brown hole, I whispered, "Rosebud," the most perverse homage to "Citizen Kane" ever uttered.As she felt the toy at her anus, she glanced over her shoulder at me and replied "inconceivable," continuing our "Princess Bride" tribute but also informing me of what wasn't going to happen. Your head collided with my gun barrel."Realizing what had happened and finding himself tied, Tom looked into the eyes of the standing man and sneered."Why you..." Now, now Senor, there is no need to become unpleasant. I helped you fix your wagon, did I not? So, I am simply claiming a just, if somewhat expensive, payment for my efforts."He looked to Miranda."The money please." No!" shouted Tom, don't tell him anything." Very well Senor, if she will not tell me, you will." There's no way in hell I'll tell you where it is" shouted Tom."Oh no, well let me see if I might convince you," said the stranger turning to Miranda."Mrs... Willis was it? Take off your skirt." Now wait a minute! You can't do that!" yelled Tom.Miranda stood paralyzed."Oh can't I?" said the Mexican."Don't do anything Miranda. He can't make you!" Wrong again, Senor."The gun was out of the holster in a flash and pointed straight at the young woman."You wouldn't shoot a woman."Oh?"The hammer cocked slowly."You're.
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