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I hoped my nostrils were clean!We chatted away over a couple of panini about how annoying people were, found out we were both blood donors, and had a great rapport going. Loads in common. But did it ever take her a while to choose what to eat! Back to our afternoon stint we went, when a friend of hers came up and, looking all apologetic, handed over an envelope, had a few words, and left in a hurry.Francesca looked a bit glum. "I'm not actually local, I was staying with an old friend this weekend, and we were supposed to be going to see Borat tonight at the cinema. She's got a bit of a family problem and has to go to Surrey. In a hurry! I hope things are OK. Um. Are you, er, local then?" Yeah, pretty much".She looked a bit coy for a second. "Seen Borat?"."As it happens, I wanted to see it, yes"."Well, you don't seem like a weirdo. If you're not busy, would you save me from going on my own?"How very quickly I forgot about the pub quiz I had agreed to being roped into. I emptied my bladder into the horse blanket.I bawled, I screamed, my tears flowed; my nose was running after a while and I was drooling.When it was finally over my father left. I lay there, trying to get my breath, sobbing like hell and in intense pain. When I could – which took a while – I pushed myself into a kneeling position. Reaching back, to gently rub my backside [you can’t rub the pain away – it’s just a reaction to it] I found some VERY painful areas, bruises and, I could feel the marks left by the holes in the paddle. These were tender little bumps that covered both of my throbbing, burning cheeks!God was I ever sore!I didn’t bother putting my underpants on – I actually used them as I’d seen my mother use her panties – my nose was running as I continued to cry. I did – very carefully – put my jeans back on…that was pretty painful. I then found out that it was, indeed, uncomfortable to walk. Not only did my backside ache when I took a step but, my cheeks [as they rubbed.
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