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I had no voice to describe what had just happened to me.?Nat? Natalie! What?s wrong? Look at me? Does it hurt, are you stillgetting the cramps??That made me laugh - a cruel, harsh sound. Cramps! Why should I get them.?Nat! Look at me.?I didn?t fight when he gently lifted my head. He pushed hair from myeyes, brushed at the tears and I saw him properly in the moonlight - faceetched with pain and worry. I noticed properly the curls crowding myvision, looked down and saw my nightdress was still properly filled by myfirm breasts. There was no baby, but neither was there a penis or ballsdisfiguring me between my thighs.?I?m so sorry,? I mumbled with a little voice. ?I had a nightmare.?He led me back to the bed and wrapped me in the bedding and his own heatuntil my shivering subsided.?What were you dreaming about???A baby. I want to have a baby,? I mumbled into his shoulder. I felt sobad saying it - betraying him, me - our love - but the feeling was toobig, too powerful to keep to. I couldn't believe how bad he looked. He had dropped about twenty pounds and his face just sagged in defeat. He was the picture of sadness and despair. They were getting ready to let him come home for weekend visits but Theresa was having a hard time explaining to him that his home wasn't his any more. The state agency had evicted the Contino's after Tony tried to burn the house down. Tony had no place to go.Theresa and Billy had taken in April and Tony, Theresa's younger brother and sister, but Billy refused to let Big Tony come stay there too until he was "back on his rocker". I knew then that Cousin Billy had set me up. Theresa asked me, pleaded with me really, and I just had a hard time telling her no. I made arrangements at the hospital to take Big Tony home with me and return him on Sunday night before six PM. One of the attendants went and packed a small suitcase for Tony and the three of us went out to my truck and drove away.Theresa held her father's hand the whole time we.
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