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There sat Rakhi on the first bench ! The first look of this girl had my head spinning ! She was sexier then any bitch I had seen in before. She was dressed in a white tight blouse which showed off her lovely round tits prominently. As she stood up to greet me I could not stop staring at her sexy thighs which lay exposed ad she was in mini skirt. i kept wondering what was beneath them !(Readers can contact me at )It was really difficult to concentrate in the lecture. And then it happened ! I dropped my zoology book by mistake on the floor and had to bend down to pick it up. There I got a view of her lovely panties under the minis. I continued to masturbate for many days with Rakhi being my fantasy. I had fucked ner in my imagination in all the positions that I could think of. I thought only if the imagination changed to reality !Then I got a way of doing that. Grades of Rakhi in zoology were pretty bad. I frightened her that if she did not study hard she might flunk in the exams. I. You show me pictures of loved ones and events, you tell me boring normal stories as if I could somehow just absorb your normality and all would be well. You plead for more time as if it would make a difference but you are appealing to the wrong saviour. Who is the more deluded? I have no regrets and no reason to fight this inevitability. I have seen and felt more to this point than you ever will. I’ve loved, lost, hated, born a child and lost a child. It is Christopher’s death that has finally allowed me to see past your smoke and mirrors. Don’t look like that. I’m not depressed. Relieved. Happy even, if that’s at all possible. Fear of loss is so much harder to bear than the loss itself. I ache each day for him but it is nothing compared to the ache I felt when he was alive. Don’t cry and don’t pretend you too are not a little relieved. Who’s being cruel? You held my boy at arms length, fearful to get too close. He accepted me as I am, as only a child can, and you could not. And.
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