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Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.’ --Jack, 7 yearsAn old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morningtil night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out ploughing with his old mule. He tried to plough a lot. One day, when he was out ploughing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner. And you can lose those, if you’re willing to exercise and eat right. I’ve helped several girls get into better shape over the years, through karate, running, and other kinds of exercise.”“I hate exercise,” she said.“What about dance? My sister does Jazzercise.”“What about karate? Do you think I could do that?”“We do offer free lessons so you can decide.”“I’ll think about it. How about today’s lessons?”I nodded and stood up. I got up, took Ally’s hand, helped her up, then led her over to one of the basket chairs. I sat down, helped her curl up in my lap, and put my arms around her. She lifted her face for a kiss and I obliged. Our lips met in a soft kiss, followed by several more, until I felt her lips part slightly and I gently pressed my tongue into her mouth. Our tongues danced softly for a few minutes, and then, advancing to second base, I moved my hand to cup one of her moderately-sized, soft breasts.I gently kneaded her breast and ran my thumb over her nipple, though separated.
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