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I didn't understand myself or my desires at all. I just knew that I was desired, and that I liked that. If being desired by so many who mean for me to serve their needs, then it seems logical that Instructor Mike was correct and I was born for this. I must embrace it. This is how I fit in."I'm afraid." "Fear will always be part of you. It's in your nature. When we chatted and you told me that your dad was rarely around, I knew that you walk around through life feeling vulnerable wherever you go. You will learn how to serve the right Men who will protect you from your fears. You will learn to enjoy and/or tolerate that which they ask of you to make your presence worth their while. They will use you. They may hurt you. But they will protect you from worse dangers in the world. Life is a series of barters with others and this will be a common one for you. If you don't go down this path, you'll always be afraid. This is the day-to-day lives of most women, the weaker sex,. .You warn me not to move an inch as you grab a blade and slide it slowly up and down my stomach, my breathing quickening. You tell me if I move I will be sorry as I start to cry from fear ... another slap to the face as you warn me not to make a single sound, and for every sound I make, I will get another hit, and another, harder and harder until I am quiet...You put the knife away and give me a sign that it can come out at any time, and I better be smart about this ... you get off me, and pull me up by my hair, still not making a single sound or I'd be sorry ... once standing, you examine my body, poking and stroking what u please as I feel ashamed standing naked in front of my attacker. Goosebumps crawling over my skinas I realize there is no escape...A back handed slap comes fast and knocks me off balance as you throw me back on the bed, now fully naked, and you slowly creep over me, an evil smirk on your face makes me whimper. You grab my neck, hard, and you don't let go for a.
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